by Cardinal Stephen Chow, S.J.
Summer is not a good time for meetings, mainly because people are travelling for vacation and rest, besides the usual business trips. I was at a meeting yesterday where only four of us, including myself, were present. You might wonder, “Why not call off the meeting?” It was certainly tempting, but decisions still needed to be made, and urgent matters still required our prompt handling. But we were prudent enough to call off meetings that were less pressing, slowing down during the summer.
As I drafted this article, I was about to take off for a few days of holiday. Hopefully, I can unwind and rest. This is not an easy ‘task’ for someone whose schedule is usually well packed. Taking a vacation can even feel like a luxury, something out of the ordinary. Our good faithful often ask us, religious and clergy, to take good care of ourselves. Yet, there is an underlying assumption that we should be hardworking and always available to respond to the needs and crises of others. For many of us, religious and clergy, the idea of openly saying we are going on vacation, even for a few days, feels awkward. Instead, we might present a more ‘noble’ reason, such as going on a pilgrimage, in order to justify some time away.
The question then becomes: where to go and what to do if we are to take a vacation? Should we choose a retreat house or a vacation facility? Go sightseeing, or simply catch up on sleep? Taking up voluntary work? Enjoying good food or eating less? Praying more or simply wasting time to unwind? Travel with someone or spend time on our own? Believe it or not, these options are troubling enough to make some of us reluctant to take a vacation at all.
I think we can agree that mental health problems affect most of us, if not all, either directly or indirectly. We probably know someone who is suffering from depression and/or anxiety disorders, not to mention psychosis, etc. Recently, a piece of tragic news about a young Italian priest who committed suicide had shaken the hearts of many, Catholics in particular. This prompts the question: why are priests not healthier than lay people? The assumption that religious and clergy should be spiritually stronger and psychologically more balanced than others is probably one of the contributing factors to such tragedies. Weaknesses and imbalances are often unacceptable. Of course, the ones who decide to take their lives also contribute to their own tragic ending.
It is difficult for us, religious and clergy, to admit to ourselves and to others, that we are as weak and vulnerable as the ones whom we serve. We tend to take on the role of “superhuman” pastors, with the faithful assuming we are closer to God, almost demigods in some cases. But we should also be role models in being human, always kind and merciful, yet not pretending to possess endless energy and wisdom to handle every demand, gossip and complaint.
Sadly, our social culture does not entertain weakness and vulnerability. We are expected to be the stronger ones—physically, emotionally, socio-politically, intellectually, and spiritually [in faith communities]. Should we value asceticism as self-denial, hard work with little rest or high level of suppression of physical needs, then taking a vacation would most likely be seen as a weakness. And what about emotional needs? We are expected to remain ‘platonic’ with limited emotional interflow in our relationships. Is this natural or even human?
Yet, what is needed is to allow our religious and clergy to live out their humanity, which includes their woundedness and limitations. Genuinely allowing them not to hide their weaknesses, but to connect with others as fellow humans, to make mistakes, to take a vacation and have fun, as well as to be fellow pilgrims in a world where human weakness and woundedness could be sources of healing, compassion, love and hope. Please allow your religious leaders and mentors to be your wounded healers in God’s love, as well as your fellow pilgrims of hope!
I pray that you were able to have a good rest over the summer break.
+ Cardinal Stephen Chow, S.J.
