HONG KONG (SE): Cardinal Stephen Chow, S.J., conversed with youth representatives during an inter-deanery gathering hosted by the Diocesan Youth Commission (DYC) at St. Benedict Church, Shatin, on February 25. Young people were one of five target groups the cardinal urged people to accompany in his Lenten pastoral letter this year. He expressed his understanding of their challenges and encouraged over 80 parish youth group representatives to promote compassionate and non-violent communication to bring about positive changes in the negative mentality prevalent in Hong Kong society.
Organised by DYC, the inter-deanery gathering aimed to unite young people aged 18-35 and help them identify their roles in parish life.
A workshop on non-violent communication was led by counselling psychologist Helen Kwok. Participants were encouraged to express their observations, feelings, requests, and positive thoughts through various games and activities. Kwok concluded the workshop by summarising the negative comments often heard in Church meetings. She then asked the participants to reflect on the true meaning of those comments and encouraged them to express themselves by objectively observing the facts without judgment and thinking rationally without being influenced by emotions.
Marshall Rosenberg, a clinical psychologist, developed Non-violent Communication in the 1960s. It aims to foster harmony in workplaces and relationships by utilising observation, feeling, need, and request.
Father Tito Lopez Martin, chairperson of the DYC, said the purpose of the inter-deanery gathering was to bring encouragement to youth leaders. “They may feel that there are not many young people in their own parish, but in fact, there are many in other parishes or in the deanery who can offer them support,” he said. He also observed that communication within youth groups and pious associations has room for improvement and hopes the workshop can bring some concrete help.
Cardinal Stephen encouraged those present to introduce a reform of positive thinking and compassionate communication in Hong Kong, a culture where people tend to quickly express their negative thoughts. He is concerned that such expressions will create a vicious circle as people tend to be affected by a negative mentality, feel helpless, and become less productive.
The cardinal said compassionate communication is not widely accepted by Hong Kong culture, even though it has existed for decades and has been promoted by some priests. “But it is exactly what we need. So young people here can start a kind of movement or reform to change the present culture. We do not need to be so negative,” he said.
Participants shared that it is hard to be positive with the trials in a community, human weaknesses, and cultural issues and asked the cardinal for ways to stay positive.
Cardinal Stephen said there is a price to pay for staying negative, as negativity will be reinforced and produce unproductive situations. He shared that it is natural to have bad feelings, and he also fails to remain positive every minute. “But when I really need to do some work, positivity can give me energy… when I see that I have influenced people around me and they begin to smile, have hope and talk about their blessings, it encourages me to stay positive again,” he said.
“The God we trust is not a destructive or cynical one… He is positive and we have to follow him. In fact, love means response. If we love a person, we will respond with love likewise,” he said. “In short, we do not want to be depressed any more,” he noted.
He observes that Hong Kong has changed, but the negative reports of the international media are not giving a fair message to the world and will not help matters. “It depends on how we jump out to break this vicious circle,” he said.
He admitted that the older generations may not have done enough for the younger generations, but if the young people do nothing at present, they will regret doing nothing years later. While the Church is helping to amend the situation, young people must also support the Church. He encouraged them not to give up but to live their faith.
On being asked how to attract new members to a community, he also encouraged participants to openly share their trials and how God has enlightened them. “From my experience, young people like realistic sharing and to know how lives have affected lives, instead of big principles,” he said.
Participants also shared about the difficulties in communicating with older generations in the Church. The cardinal pointed out that emigration has deprived the Church of the “buffer generation” – the middle-aged people, the generation who are experienced in handling different issues and training the young. He believes the older generations, usually at 60 or above, have thus become impatient as they would like to pass the torch on to the young generation. He believes that the older generation needs to believe that the Church will not have big problems if the old practices are changed, while the whole Church community must listen to the Holy Spirit, abandon their prejudices and discern their direction, and the process takes time.
Cardinal Stephen will lead a Lenten retreat organised by the Hong Kong Federation of Catholic Students on March 9 and another retreat organised by the Youth Commission at the end of the year.
The gathering ended with a Taize prayer meeting in which each youth representative are invited to put down a paper-star with their prayers for themselves and the Church into glass bottles and take a heart-shaped candle from the altar, symbolising the determination to live out their faith with kindled hearts.
Chris, a youth leader of St. Joseph’s Church, Fanling, told the Sunday Examiner that the workshop and talk that day reminded him to face his emotions honestly and express himself properly, which can help his communication in daily life. “Sometimes, we tend to concentrate on our work and take little notice of our emotions. Maybe we can try to understand others more and see how we can do better,” he said.
