To move on

For thirty long years I’ve been holding on to the pain in my heart.
Losing a son gives me so much hurt.
In sadness I just keep doing my confused part.
Heart ache and pain in my feeling won’t depart.

Dark days did not leave me or go away.
I’ve never been happy again.
I’ve tried to understand what happened.
To divine God my knees I bend.

I’m trying to move on.
End of my remaining years will come soon.
I still have three children left behind.
Anguish and frustration I must take out of my mind.

Old age is catching me as I’m feeling bad.
In my thought and emotion I’m going mad.
I must defeat this melancholy I had.
Try to move on and be glad.

I went away and left my family.
To a farm in a secluded place I stay.
I separated from them to seek serenity.
To avoid venting anger on my wife and keep my sanity.

I ask her why that could happen to our family.
To take care of my children when I was away was her duty.
The loss of my son caused me so much grief and misery.
What happened to my son is a tragedy.

Maybe it’s a test for the faith
of a sinner and a bad man.
To move on I must accept what happened
and ask forgiveness from the Holy One.