Resolving conflicts in family…

First there should be a thorough knowledge about the nature of the problem from the point of views of different parties and individials. I may need to call different members and talk to them in a friendly way so that they feel comfortable and can be honest in expressing themselves. I need to listen attentively to the ideas of both sides. It is always fair to listen without interruption prompting them to express themselves freely. This way helps me better understand the problem and empathise with the people involved. I avoid fault finding. Instead I lead them to identify the problem and focus in finding solutions. I present some suggestions and give them time to reflect on them. I hope that can pave the way for reconciiation. 

— Dolly Apancay

As a mediator in a family conflict I always pray for everybody in the family. Then I will talk separately to members involved in the conflict, and call them together for a heart to heart talk. We clarify the real problem and other minor problems, and try our best to look for solutions. I stay fair as I listen to each of their ideas. I appreciate their honesty and respect their feelings. Reconciliation can be achieved when forgiveness brings kindness. I will continue to give them encouragements as they move on with life.

— Malou Caguioa

There are some key points to remember when resolving issues at hand. First, open communication, which comes with good listening skills as well and acknowledging the right of a person to their own will and opinions; second, the art of de-escalation, avoid dealing with the situation emotionally, show a sign of maturity to own up to their mistakes and a deeper understanding of the personality of one another will help when miscommunication happens.

Confrontation usually happens if there is aggression in the manner of speaking. Words do hurt when they are said carelessly. Regrets come after but pride oftentimes take over and the once small hole becomes bigger if it is not sewn together in the beginning like a tailor would.

— Ma. Joan Domanico

When conflicts arise within the family, the persons involved should try to amend and resolve first their conflicts among themselves, by knowing and listening to each other’s views, be humble and talk to the other person involved in a nice way. Find out the root of the conflict. Stop blaming, understand each other so that love and respect will remain in the family. This goes true also if you have friends in a conflict. I believe that there is nothing that cannot be solved if both parties talk level headed. Do not talk while still being angry because an angry person tend to use hurting words. 

— Lilia Garcia

Resolving family conflicts need a lot of patience and understanding. Listening calmly without judgment, be neutral at all times. But before we act on it let the heat of the issue simmer down first. Talk to both sides so you will know the real problem to be resolved before you ask them to come and have a meeting. They need to feel that you, as a mediator don’t take sides. Let harmony and agreement prevail, and most importantly start and end with a prayer and thanksgiving.

— Priscilla Kirk

Resolving a conflict is not an easy task but achievable. The first thing that needs to be done is to pray for God’s guidance and help to resolve the conflict. Then in a calm and gentle way express our views in a way that will not offend the other party and afterwards, give the other party the chance to express his or her views. Finally,  we should come up with a solution that would be agreeable to both parties. 

— Jean Luza

Even in a peaceful and loving family, conflicts can not be avoided. Resolving a conflict within our family should be made with respect. Be a good listener. Negotiate with understanding and communicate in a positive and honest way. Do not use harsh and hurting words. Be humble to admit mistakes. In this way, we can fix the issue and resolve our conflict.

— Gemma Tejas

First of all, pray! Then make sure that your anger is already calmed down. Listen first to what the other person has to say. After he or she finished, express your own views. Ask for forgiveness if necessary and extend forgiveness when being asked. Then, try to resolve the conflict together. Do not side with any of them but be neutral. Focus on the cause of the conflict and help find a solution to the problem. However make sure that the parties involved are pacified because it is hard for an angry person to listen and situation may worsen. Just wait for both parties to calm down.

— Annie Valenzuela