Pope Francis ends his apostolic letter Patris Corde with a reflection on St. Joseph as “a father in the shadows,” as a father who never aspired for the centre-stage, but had an absolute love for Jesus, Mary and us. In a highly commercialised and profit-oriented world, humans have a tendency to doubt everyone else and to reduce every human interaction to a transaction. Today, mutual trust and acceptance of each other are hard to come by even among the siblings. Humans tend to expect something in return for everything we give. We think of every gesture as requiring a reciprocal gesture—a repayment. But Pope Francis offers St. Joseph as an antidote to this unfortunate tendency.
“St. Joseph found happiness not in mere self-sacrifice,” explains the Holy Father, “but in self-gift.” He gave of himself perfectly and completely, without any expectation of something in return. The ability to give oneself wholly to another calls us to cultivate virtues of hospitality, generosity, self-control, temperance and humility.
As a father in the shadows, St. Joseph is a model father, who not only brought up his child on the right course, but allowed him to set sail on his own. It is a father’s responsibility to show his children how to live their own lives, not to curtail their lives for the interests of the parents. Of course, this is subject to the normal course of physical, emotional, and psychological development of the children. But today’s parents should always have an eye toward the ability of our children to go forth on their own—trained to choose well, but free to fail.
As Pope Francis puts it, “Every child is the bearer of a unique mystery that can only be brought to light with the help of a father who respects that child’s freedom.” If he is successful, the father becomes most “useless” precisely when he sees the fruit of his guidance: a child whose life follows the proper course, with gratitude for their father’s guidance. As such, our children may leave our homes, but they will never leave the hearts of their fathers.
St. Joseph’s life, after the infancy narratives in the gospels, goes unnoticed. After the instance of taking Jesus to Jerusalem when he was 12 years old, the father in the shadows goes into oblivion. Authors of the Gospels do not even mention his death. “St. Joseph reminds us that those who remain hidden or in the shadows can play an incomparable role in the history of salvation. A word of recognition and of gratitude is due to them all.”
Can you trace back some names or faces who have helped you in your life but stand forgotten or taken for granted? Oftentimes the ones we love are the ones we forget to thank the most. St. Joseph reminds us to appreciate those whose outsized impact on us speaks with the softest voice. And a final thogutht for your continued reflection: Would the “hidden presence” of St. Joseph also remind us of the hidden presence of Jesus in the Eucharist!
