I just do not know how we were able to survive the strongest storm that I can say that has blown everything away. It was like sailing in the ocean of pain and sadness. The sky was dark. The rain poured so heavily. All I could see were big and high waves lashing violently against my boat. I found nothing to hold on to. There might have been people around but they seemed so far away.
I was shaken but no one came to give me a tight hug. I was tired but there was no shoulders I could lean or cry on.
I almost reached the point of doubting God’s existence when I felt so alone and abandoned. I just do not know how we got out through the storm. My mother, after 14 days of struggle in hospital, has gone back home to the Father in heaven. After a few days, another breaking news reached me that my cousin in Manila died and his remains would be sent back here in his hometown. We were shocked by his sudden death. He was too young to be gone soon. Again, in just a couple of days another sad news reached me that my aunt, my mother’s sister who is suffering from breast cancer, also passed away.
I was infected by the virus too. Since I was still in quarantine period I felt so helpless. I could not help but look up towards heaven begging God for courage to help me and my whole family to endure all these pains.
‘We may not understand God’s ways and plans’
Covid wards are like a place of torment. Patients are grasping for oxygen to sustain their breaths. The situation inside is desperate. We pray that this virus and all its variants will end soon.
We may not understand God’s ways and plans. It hurts us letting go of three beautiful souls and only God knows the reason behind this. God knows how much we love them but God must have loved them even more.
It is very hard for us to control our tortured emotions from our loss of loved ones and to gather our strength back on track and recover from sickness. For all that we have been through I almost succumbed to depression.
But because God’s grace is enough for me I slowly managed to overcome the trials of life. Only when the dark storm has gone that I realise once again how good and great God is. God works and moves through the people who stood by our side for better or for worse.
As we celebrate the 500 years of Christianity in the Philippines. The Chaplaincy to Filipino Migrants organises an on-line talk every Tuesday at 9.00pm. You can join us at:
https://www.Facebook.com/CFM-Gifted-to-give-101039001847033
While I was in quarantine I was supported by people around who truly love and care. Thank you Lord, after a long anxious wait, on his 20th day of confinement my brother was discharged from hospital together with my youngest sister who was looking after him. God helps us realise the virtue of waiting because his time is always perfect.
I am still in the road to recovery and there are still hurdles to endure. God allows the hardest trials to show us what he can do and he can perform his greatness that even the wisest minds cannot comprehend.
I can now stand up and say to the heights of mountains that God is good and he is a God of wonders. Praise and thank you Lord Jesus!
Lynn Salinas-Batoliño
The Philippines
